ABOUT BENJAMIN

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record of losses

A - Allegiance[break]
Blue blood stick together. A code reigns over the mafia. You accepted to serve your country, to protect the citizen. You followed the rules to prove your loyalty, to blend into the gang members. You had your badge on your heart and a gun in your hand. You worked for both sides.
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B - Bodies[break]
How many people did you kill? How many people did you torture? You had to. A gang's member who objects to dirtying his hands is suspicious. You had to show you were useful. But what about the three criminals, you almost killed after your reinstatement at the headquarters? One in three different cases. The first one was a mistake, your chief had said. Your therapist warned you after the second time. You got demoted after the third time. You know what it means when someone uses the same modus operandi, right?
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C - Childhood friend[break]
He supported you when you fell in disgrace. When you felt like everybody - your colleagues - turned their back on you. Or perhaps you were the one putting some distance between them and you.
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D - Daughter[break]
Your fellow gang members had children too. But you couldn't talk about your daughter. Every night, you wondered if you could see her again before dying. She was the reason why you fought your demons, why you didn't plunge into darkness. You asked to divorce for her sake because to you, there's nothing worse than growing up with a broken father. Your ex-wife was against it at first. She told you 'It's gonna be fine.' She looked for therapists, she suggested healing camps. You fought a lot because she wondered where your determination was.
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E - Email[break]
That's how your clients contact you. You had a visible office once, but some of your old friends wrecked the place. You're still a cop for some people after all. After this little mishap, you have settled for a movable office. A second phone and a portable make the job.
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F - Felipe[break]
It sounds strange when you hear it in your family members' mouth. There's probably a file in the headquarters with your full name. Felipe Gutierrez. You became someone else when you joined the cartel. And you learned how to distance yourself from what your parents chose for you. Sometimes you feel Felipe is dead. Just another part of you bringing up memories, something so distant it could belong to another person. The truth is you don't know who you're anymore.
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G - Guns[break]
You love holding them. You love the feeling of the bullet running through the flesh. You love hunting and cleaning behind you. What you couldn't accept when you were a rookie cop is now ingrained in your body and in your mind.
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H - Home[break]
Seattle where you were born and raised. Your parents' house full of laughter and the noise of the telenovela exploding in the living room. Your four sisters chatting and your grandmother nagging at them. It was warm and lively. Nothing like the place where you live now.
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I - Investigation [break]
6 years undercover, 2 years at the headquarters… Of course, investigations are the only thing you can conduct perfectly. You passed your Private Investigator license and started to work right away. From affairs to wealthy parents wanted you to track their runaway children, you take every case if it pays well. Sometimes, you call one of the few cops you're still in touch with. Some of your cases overlap with the police ones, and you'd rather share what you know with someone you don't look down on.

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call me
NIEL

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