ABOUT CORIN

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might just disappear

The fondest memory you have is an ancient one. Like an old film reel constantly being played on repeat in an old theatre. An antique that’s been appraised again and again, each time found to be more valuable than the last. It was soft and worn at the edges like a favourite blanket, and you desperately cling to it like one. [break][break]

Weathered hands gently comb through your hair, carefully untangling the knots that nestle hidden in the thick tresses. After no knots remain, the slightly shaky hands deftly separate the heavy strands and begin the task of weaving them together. Then she speaks to you. [break][break]
The brittle voice that speaks a language you were never truly able to learn, sometimes you think you catch a word that strikes some recognition, but can’t fully pin down. It’s sings to you, croaky and soft. Sometimes, you think you can hear it in your dreams. And each time, you wake up with tears making wet tracks down your cheeks [break][break]

You wish you were back there, back in arms so fragile yet were strong enough to soften any blow and weather any storm. You wish you could hear that voice again, lips pressed against your head, words so frail and muffled into your hair, but holding an unwavering affection that made your chest ache to think about. Safety, warmth, protection. An overwhelming pressure in your chest. [break][break]

That’s what you think love feels like. [break][break]

giving up the ghost

As you lie on the ground, too broken and empty to move, you remember that memory again. You miss your grandmother, her sandy voice and soft, if slightly uncomfortable hugs. And like every other time you remember, tears well in your eyes. [break][break]

This time, they don’t stop. They fall heavy down your face, your heaving breaths hurting more than they should as you refuse to more. [break][break]

You cry, you sob, you scream -- until you simply can’t anymore. Because that person loved you, and now because of them, you’ll never get to see her again. They dragged you away from your home, dragged to this place and then they had to drag you down with them on the horrid path they took. They couldn’t just let you try to live, they had to ruin you first before they grew tired of you. [break][break]

So, you lie there alone, sad and angry. So, so tired and the hunger a dull ache in your stomach. [break][break]

Until you aren’t alone anymore. You can hear them, stepping through the dark towards you and you can’t muster up enough energy to be frightened. They stop in front of you, their shoes the only thing you can see. The only thing you bother to look at. Looking this person in the eye seems pointless, so you don’t. [break][break]

You expect them to step on you. They don’t. Instead, they place a hand on your head and the amount of care in which they brush the hair out of your face makes you want to cry again. [break][break]

Then, quiet words echoed through the small, cold place -- the construction of which is something you forgot but the purpose behind the letters was something that could never be fully removed from your memory. They were comforting. And so, so soft. [break][break]

You couldn’t help the full body flinch that wracked through you when you felt the hands on your shoulders. But they weren’t there to inflict pain. These hands… they picked you up and into strong arms that cradled you, like you were a child again. [break][break]

A few tears manage to fall out of your eyes, but not out of fear. The feeling of hopeful relief almost crushes you under its weight. You to finally shut your eyes, and turn to press your face into the chest of the person who held you. The person who’s saved you. [break][break]

it’s you i love the most

You look at Him -- The Doctor -- and all you see is your saviour. He is who managed to rescue you when you were so certain that you were beyond saving. You owe Him your life, and you’d give it to Him gladly. This organisation he runs… you need only know a little to be sure of your decision. [break][break]

He was going to get rid of the people like them. Like your parents. He had told you that He planned to create a world of equality, where what happened to you would not happen again. And He needed you to help Him. [break][break]

You know you were likely saved for this purpose, to be a part of something much bigger than yourself. And you’re not mad, not really. [break][break]

The only warmth you had left was something long dead and gone. But this gun to your head would either be your end or a fresh start. The start of something completely new. Without the shackles of your scars to hold you back. It sounded so scary, but too tempting to refuse. This way, even if you had nothing, you still had the Doctor. [break][break]

What did you have to lose? You know the answer already. [break][break]

You pull the trigger. [break][break]

it doesn’t matter

This place, these people, their cause… Their Doctor. They’re yours now too. This doesn’t feel like the love that you clung so tightly to in the past. But it could be. [break][break]

So, you grab hold of it.

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call me
KILEO

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