ABOUT ROMMEL

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"So glad to have you! Tell us about yourself?"

(What am I supposed to do without you?)[break][break]

Aha, well...hi there, I guess~? I’m glad and flattered to be here. Uh… Let’s see~... Where to start…?[break][break]

...I mean, you already know this, but I guess for anyone whose first time it is seeing me? My name is Rommel Santiago, but I guess a lotta people in the music industry know me as “Heart,” instead? Y’know, since that’s my stage name. I’m part of an idol group by the name of “Royals,” and am one of four members. Y’know the standard deck of cards, right? How there’s the king, queen, jack, and ace in the royals of each suit? When we were still officially being formed, our company at the time was debating on going co-ed, but since they ultimately went for just a boy group as far as we were concerned, we ended up being based on just the kings of each card suit. The other three members represent the king of clubs, spades, and diamonds, too, and officially, I take the spot as the “King of Hearts,” or...y’know. Just “Heart” to cut it short~.[break][break]

...I guess aside from the stage name, though, I also have a Korean name, since - go figure - the Kpop idol is Korean~. Uh… Well, that being said though, my Korean name is Lee Keun Byeol. “Lee” is my mom’s surname, and altogether, “Keun Byeol,” means “great star.” ...Kinda easy to figure out, but “keun” and “byeol” both mean “great” and “star,” respectively~. ...Mom had high hopes for me, I guess~. Haha…[break][break]

Mmn… If it isn’t obvious enough by how my legal name screams “Spanish,” and how I literally just said I’m Korean, I got both Spanish and Korean blood in my veins~. On top of that, though, there’s also some French in me, too, and that more or less cuts it for the main ethnicities that I am? Can speak the languages fluently on top of English, to boot- and I actually know a little more than conversational Japanese, too, ‘cause of the nature of the Kpop industry~. Trying to learn more languages on the side, too, but uh...those are kinda on hold right now. ...Life’s a bit busy right now, and I’ve...honestly been kinda stressed as of late, so I’ll try to get on that sometime soon.[break][break]

Lessee, lessee… What else…? Oh. Well, if you guys care about it, I’m from a middle class family? Only child. Got raised mainly by my mom and grandparents. Didn’t get to know much of my dad ‘til later, though, since he was a soldier way back when. But...yeah. Middle class family. If you guys care about astrology, I’m a Cancer, my birthday’s on June twenty-sixth, and I was actually born and raised up over in Canada- Burlington, if you wanna be more specific. I didn’t audition and move to Seoul ‘til I was, like...about fifteen or so? Somewhere around there, if I remember right. I ended up training for about five years, and officially debuted with my group when I was twenty-one. Our schedule was completely stacked until kinda recently, but that was mostly because of our old company. Little to no time outside of promoting music, touring, and constantly practicing, but after Arcanum Entertainment got formed, my group and managers talked it over before deciding to go over to join under them, instead.[break][break]

Not too long after it got built up, we and the company members decided to move over to America to try spreading the music and all more easily to westerners, sooooo… Yeah. here we are, now~.[break][break]

"Sounds legit~. Let's see...what was your childhood like?"

(Is it too late to pick the pieces up?)[break][break]

My childhood? I mean, it was pretty simple enough, honestly. Nothing too outta the ordinary. Aside from the fact my dad wasn’t exactly there ‘cause of duty, I just...did whatever a kid my age at the time would’ve done. Went to school. Played around with other kids. The norm, honestly. Since my family was well off enough, I also dabbled in a fair amount of hobbies that also led into middle school and high school, too. I considered myself kinda versatile, if anything? Like...I loved to do a little bit of everything, but I personally don’t...exactly think I was anything too special? I loved it all, put my heart into it, but, like-... Yeah.[break][break]

I got good grades. Was the standard good student, honestly. It was my mom that actually signed me up for dance and singing lessons at first, and ironically enough I absolutely hated it at first ‘cause it wasn’t what I wanted to do, as spoiled of me as it sounds~. Y’know what I wanted to be? ...A writer. I always loved the pen and paper, and I loved forging my own worlds and stuff. I’ve...actually been getting back into it more recently. For...my own reasons, but also to help lyrical composition, and whatnot. But...yeah. My childhood goal was to become an author, and it wasn’t until way later that the scales shifted in favor of music.[break][break]

...Then again, though? I guess it was that way at first ‘cause I wasn’t...exactly the most social kid? Like...I was shy. Really shy. I was a dork at heart, but I just...had a lot of trouble expressing myself. Was too scared about being made fun of if I messed up, so I just...kept to myself~. As sad as it sounds, my best friends were the pen and paper, but at some point, I managed to make some friends during my musical hobbies. After practicing a bit more, there were some kids that approached me during dance class, and they...more or less helped me get comfortable. Not completely comfortable, but...comfortable enough to at least pay less attention to pressure at the time. They were the ones that helped me crack outta my shell, even if I was still really quiet back then~.[break][break]

"Huh... Who know a shy kid would become an idol?"

(Too soon to let them go...)[break][break]

Haha, funny you should mention that, actually… It was my mother who nagged at me to keep up with music, and my own self that ultimately decided to dedicate through and through, but it was my grandmother that pushed for it so much, at first. Being raised with my mom and them gave me more of a...Korean upbringing, I guess you could say. I knew more of that culture over Spanish culture at the time, so I was more in tune with their customs, their music, and all that. Sometime during high school, word on the street was that there were...auditions for a company based in Seoul. Performing company, obviously. I was really against it since I had a really bad case of stage fright back then - and that’s honestly what kept me from doing a lotta other things that I would’ve otherwise loved to do - but my grandma was stubborn. ...Then it caught on to my grandpa, then Mom, and I just-... Heh. I guess there was no escape for me, by that point?[break][break]

So...yeah. In the end, I ended up giving in and auditioning like they wanted me to, but...I guess I’d be lying if some part of me didn’t wanna, also. Like...as much as it was mostly their insistence, I kinda wanted to go for it since that...was around the time that I started seeing music as such a bigger part of my life. I didn’t start warming up to music until I was eleven or so, but...it became a lot more important to me around age thirteen.[break][break]

It’s...something that some people know, but it’s not public knowledge? Or...I guess it’ll be now, but...I actually have clinical depression, is the thing? Yeah. Going back to how I wanted to be an author, and how I just loved writing-... That was why I took a shine to the pen so much. Not only was it fun, but it...gave me some sorta outlet. Gave me a place to run to. Gave me a place to vent to, when I didn’t wanna bother my family too much. It was just...amazing after so much stress. But as time went on, I realized that dance and music in general conveyed that so much better for me, if not more, so...the scales tipped after some time. I went from going full time writer, to striking a hobbyist balance, to...more or less dedicating myself to performing. If anything, it was because of how much I loved the art by the time I auditioned that I did decide to give in for the audition.[break][break]

It was something I loved to do, and if it was possible to make a living doing what I loved?[break]
...Hell, I considered that a win~. Even if it was really tough going through the beginning motions, I still consider it that.[break][break]

Things...have been really tough? Lately, but also in the past, too, and music’s just...made it so much better, y’know? It’s been a godsend~.[break][break]

"That must've been hard for you. How did you manage?"

(Do you feel damaged like I do?)[break][break]

Eh...more or less how I described it before, I guess~? Music, dance… Whatever it was that became the norm ‘cause of what I signed up for, really. It took a little while for me to really connect with my group, but after I did, they helped me out, too. They were able to crack my shell a little bit more, and it was because of them that I was able to be a bit more lenient. Around them, I was just...a complete dork~. They trusted me, and I trusted them. Since Mom and my grandparents couldn’t exactly afford to follow us to South Korea at the time, the guys were more or less my second family and home away from home. They were some of the first people to find out about the depression and stuff, and thankfully, they were, like…really understanding about it. Even the youngest in the group treated me like a younger brother, and just...kinda fussed over me whenever I needed fussing, I guess? They cared, and they still do. ...I’m thankful for them~.[break][break]

…[break][break]

It was...partially them, and...partially someone else, though. Mostly someone else. I was already maybe, like...a year or so into my training? I remember being seventeen when I met her, but...yeah. Year or so into my official training, I...met Evelyn. At the time, she was a fresh trainee, too. Actually went on to be part of the same group whose leader is the CEO of the company that we’re signed under now, so...I guess things just connected altogether~. But, uh...honestly speaking, I was...still somewhat of a social mess when I met her? I was a dork around the guys, but around everyone else, I was...really rough around the edges. She saw that. Saw how anxious I got, and how easily I tripped myself up because I was anxious, and how I got even more pressured after messing up. ...I was just a mess, and...she helped me through it, I guess?[break][break]

Helped me fully get over my stage fright. Helped me brush up on my singing techniques, my dance techniques… We...became really quick friends. And...she just made things a lot easier for me, both performance-wise and emotionally. ...By far, she’s...been a huge part of my life, and if I gotta be honest, I probably wouldn’t even be here now if it wasn’t for her. At some point, I was at risk of being cut from the group ‘cause of how much I was messing up, and they actually already had a potential step in for me, so...yeah.[break][break]

"Evelyn? From Arcanum, right?"

(Your face; it makes my body ache.)[break][break]

...Yeah. Yeah, uh...Evelyn from Arcanum. I met her not too long after she came in as a trainee, herself, and...I think about a year after I officially started my own training…?[break][break]

...Again, I used to have a lot of confidence issues? And just...performing issues. I had the underlying skill and potential, but it’s just that I...needed to get used to everything. All the attention, all the pressure… And...she more or less helped me with that. ...She’s a big reason on why I’m here, now, and I...honestly have to thank her for a lotta things.[break][break]

…[break]
...No words would probably ever be able to describe how much she means to me.[break][break]

"Do you think you could expand on your relationship with her?"

(It won't leave me alone.)[break][break]

I'd...honestly rather not--[break][break]

"But it seemed like the two of you were really--"

(I'd rather choke on my bad decisions...)[break][break]

I really don’t wanna talk about it. With...all due respect. ...The most I’ll say is that I...care about her. A lot. I always will, but aside from that, I don’t wanna talk about it, and I’d rather not talk about it.[break][break]

So can we...please move on? ...If you have more to ask, at least?[break][break]

(He and Evelyn became best friends and eventually dated, but his self confidence constantly nagged at him. He thought the world of her, but at the same time, ended up thinking that she was too good for him. He ended up convincing himself that what he felt for her was more false love and dependency, rather than legitimate love, and ended up cheating on her. The guilt got to him, and while the public doesn't know, he brought it upon himself to tell her out of lingering respect to her. By far, it's his biggest regret, and is why his mood has been drastically mellowed for the past year or two.)[break][break]

"..."

(...Than carry them to the grave.)[break][break]

I'll...assume that's it, then? ...Are we gonna be cutting this short?[break][break]

...[break]
In...that case, I'm really sorry. I'm...gonna see my way out, then.[break][break]

...If you wanna do another interview at some point again, just...let me and my manager know. ...I think I'll just...take some time to myself for now, though.[break][break]

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